literallythebestcitycouncil:

Millicent Gergich has LITERALLY torn my heart from my body, and replaced it with a thick slab of sadness. I may never smile again. I’ve just started this, I see my fellow co-workers have created one which only means that I must join them! I’ve just returned from a gathering that Leslie put together for Ann Perkins to find a new partner. Alas, I’ve just lost my partner. I’m feeling a little down these days, something my body is not used to. Probably nothing a some fresh lettuce and an oregano, basil, rosemary, and protein shake couldn’t fix. 

I may engage in some chants. Body wake up! Mind be happy! I’ll use then when I do my regular five mile run. This is my first Valentine’s Day being single in a while. I’m not sure what I’ll do with my routinely fertilized roses that I keep for this occasion. 

I’m off for now! I look forward to talking to you all very soon.

…Sorry… you’re… sad… and stuff.

We can still go out for a movie sometime… I guess.

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