benjamin-ben-wyatt:

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benjamin-ben-wyatt:

I think there’s something wrong with the heat. It’s kind of freezing in here, even though I have it on 74. 

You should probably call someone about that.

I called but the person was stupid and I hated him so I hung up. 

Well you should call him back because it’s not really hot in here, even though I turned it off.

Can a heater be broken if it’s off?

Champion is staring at me weird.

I didn’t know we had heating, so I don’t care. Maybe you should call since you’re the one who is home all day while Andy and I are at our jobs.

Champion probably wants to eat your face. Don’t let him. I don’t want him getting sick.

Alright that was uncalled for- I do plenty. I’m a campaign manager. That counts. 

That’s really scary, April. Champion’s too nice to eat anyone’s face. … Can dogs get sick? 

But you’re home right now. I am not. I’m ignoring tons of calls for Ron today because there’s a snake pit in one of the parks or something, I don’t know. I’m really busy.

Dogs can get sick. He’s already gotten sick twice in your room somewhere. I think Andy cleaned it up. I didn’t because it’s gross.

Yeah, I’m defending this house from Darth Vader right now. Do you know what would happen if I didn’t?! 

That’s pretty gross. I’m glad Andy cleaned it up. Andy’s a great guy.

If I didn’t hate you I would ask you if you were sick or something. But I do hate you so I really don’t care. Just don’t be all weird and nerdy around me.