baconwrappedswanson:

insertaprilhere:

leslieknope2k12:

insertaprilhere:

annperkinspr:

insertaprilhere:

My mouth hurts a lot and it’s making me be mean to people.

That’s why I knocked Jerry’s coffee out of his hands. It was satisfying and made me feel better a little.

 And you’re usually such a pleasant person.

Question as a nurse- Have you been icing it consistently?

I know I am, which is why I was letting you guys know. I don’t want you to think I have multiple personalities. Which I do.

Question as a person- How many people did you sleep with to get your nursing degree?

April, if it’s bothering you that much, you can go home and I’ll have Ron’s phone forwarded to me. I don’t mind! It’ll give me an excuse to not take Bobby Newport’s calls asking me to drop out. He calls every hour on the hour asking if I’ve changed my mind.

Thanks, I will go home. And don’t make Ron take any of his calls, Leslie. If they demand to speak to him, just talk in a deeper voice and pretend to be him. Then hang up after you call them an idiot.

And that is exactly why I hired you, Alexa.

I know. Sam.

1. insertaprilhere reblogged this from baconwrappedswanson
2. baconwrappedswanson reblogged this from insertaprilhere and added:

   And that is exactly why I hired you, Alexa.

3. insertaprilhere posted this